Total Drama Island : A Different Cast
by Sophism232
Summary: Total Drama Island. Same challenges, same dank island, same sadistic host, but, somehow, a different cast. *APPS CLOSED* Let the games begin.
1. Characters

I've decided to add the contestants appearances separately, to avoid awkwardly lacing in into the test. I apologize in advance for the decrease in quality as you go along. In my head the guy just don't have as specific designs as the girls. If you have any questions about any of the characters, please feel free to ask. Enjoy:

Name: Shelia McKinley  
Nicknames: Detests nicknames. Anyone who gives her one will end up with a mascara wand stuck in their eye.  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: The Rich White-girl

Hair: Mid-back length, wavy and golden blonde  
Eyes: Icy blue, with long eyelashes  
Skin: A few shades paler than regular Caucasian (from being indoors all the time)  
Build: Slender. Average height, with a small chest and slightly wider hips. She has the usual, angular TD female head.

Everyday: A white dress shirt with elbow length sleeves, under a navy sweater vest, a pair of sky blue skinny jeans and a pair of navy flats  
Accessories: A navy head band, several silver bangles on each wrist, a pair of diamond earrings and a sliver, heart shaped pendant. For makeup she has a bit of sky blue eyeshadow, about three kilos of pale pink lip gloss and navy nail polish  
Swimwear: A navy, strapless bikini and a pair of sunglasses on top of her head, replacing her headband  
Sleepwear: An overlarge, sky blue t-shirt, a pair of navy yoga pants, a pair of fluffy sky blue slippers and her hair is in rollers, she generally sleeps in either a navy sleeping mask, or a cucumber facial  
Formal: A sky blue, sparkly, strapless, knee length dress, with a tight top and waist but a loose skirt, a sliver diamond tiara, a pair of silver strap-heels and her everyday earrings and bracelets

Name: Melanie Jacobs  
Nicknames: Mella or Annie  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: The Shy Girl

Hair: Shoulder blade length, completely straight, limp and medium brown, her bangs constantly fall in front of her face  
Eyes: Leaf green  
Skin: A regular Caucasian skin tone  
Build: Scrawny. Average height (But looks shorter due to constant slouching and cowering) and curve-less, she has a round head, similar to Izzy's/Blainley's

Everyday: A shapeless, knee length pale green dress, under a leaf green sweater and a pair of leaf green flats  
Accessories: A pair of thick, circular dark green glasses and a leaf green headband  
Swimwear: A leaf green one-piece (with matching swim-cap and goggles) with a pale green skirt attached  
Sleepwear: A leaf green plaid pajama set, with matching slippers, her hair is tied (with a leaf green hair tie) in a sloppy bun  
Formal: A knee length, pale green silk dress, with elbow length sleeves and a layered skirt, she wears her everyday flats and puts her hair in a pony tail

Name: Roxanne Pierce  
Nicknames: Roxxie, Anne  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: The Manipulative Skank

Hair: Waist length, dark brown, thick and wavy, her bangs are a side part and consist of one large curl and a smaller one next to it  
Eyes: Dark brown, with thick eyelashes and eyebrows  
Skin: She's part Spanish so she has a slightly orange tinted tan  
Build: Curvy. She's a little taller than average height and has a large chest, wide hips and a small waist. She has the regular TD female head

Everyday: A small-as-possible deep red tube-top, a pair of dark blue denim short-shorts (not half-way-up-her-butt short, but pretty short) and a pair of shiny, black high-heels  
Accessories: A pair of large, gold hoop earrings, matching bangles on each wrist, a gold belly button piercing, a thin, dark brown leather belt and a black tramp stamp of her own name in curly letters, for makeup she wears a large amount of smokey black eyeshadow and deep red lipstick  
Swimwear: A skimpy-as-possible deep red, strapless bikini  
Sleepwear: Her everyday tube-top and a pair of dark red shorts, and she ties her hair in a ponytail  
Formal: A deep red mini-dress, her everyday makeup and accessories and a pair of strappy black leather heels

Name: Lydia Jackson  
Nicknames: Lyds/Lydi, though only her brother and close friends are allowed to call her that.  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: The Snarky Loner

Hair: Chin length, black and purple streaked, scruffy and choppy  
Eyes: Green  
Skin: She's half Indian, she has a brown tan, not quite as dark as an African American  
Build: Wiry. Average height, a small chest, small hips and a small waist. Her head is the regular TD female head

Everyday: A dark grey hoodie (she wears just her bra underneath), a pair of dark blue denim shorts and a pair of black, chunky goth boots  
Accessories: A silver cross pendant tucked under her hoodie. She has a small scar under her eye from incorrectly handling a swiss army knife as a kid  
Swimwear: A dark grey one-piece  
Sleepwear: Her bra and everyday shorts  
Formal: Her everyday shorts, a black tank-top, her everyday boots and her everyday cross pendant

Name: Jessica Williams  
Nicknames: She prefers to go by Jess or Jessie  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: The Farm Girl

Hair: Shoulder length, curly, tangled and orange she usually has it in a sloppy braid  
Eyes: Blue  
Skin: A slight farmer's tan and covered in freckles  
Build: Slender. A little taller than average height, a medium chest, medium hips and small waist. Her head is the usual TD female head

Everyday: A grimy white t-shirt, under a faded denim vest, matching knee length jeans, a pale brown cowboy hat and a pair of old, pale brown cowboy boots  
Accessories: A pair of black leather, fingerless gloves, a bull skull shaped pendant, a tool belt and she's rarely seen without a fair bit on dirt and grime on her face  
Swimwear: A pale blue bikini top and a pair of pale brown swim trunks  
Sleepwear: Her everyday t-shirt and jeans  
Formal: A Dorothy (Wizard of Oz) style pale blue dress and her everyday boots and hat, she puts her hair into a bun and wears a pair of horse shoe shaped gold earrings

Name: Keira West (Special thanks to my sister)  
Nicknames: None, to her nicknames are demeaning and an insult to what she stands for (or something)  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: The Overshadowed Sibling

Hair: Waist length, red and straight. She generally has in a sloppy pony tail  
Eyes: Teal  
Skin: Regular Caucasian, with a splatter of freckles across her nose  
Build: Thin. Average height, a small chest, medium hips and a small waist. Her head is the usual TD female head

Everyday: A dark red hoodie, a denim skirt, a pair of knee length black tights underneath and a pair of sky blue sneakers  
Accessories: A small reminder written in permanent marker on her right hand "Never stop until Kayla (Her sister) falls" and a pair of thick, black rectangular glasses  
Swimwear: A yellow one-piece with denim blue, horizontal stripes  
Sleepwear: The black t-shirt she wears under her everyday hoodie and her tights, she wears her glasses and shoes to sleep so that she's never unprepared (Basically, her everyday outfit minus the skirt and the hoodie)  
Formal: A black, knee length turtle-neck dress and a pair of black flats

Name: Danielle Rye  
Nicknames: Dani, Dana, Elle  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: The Cheer Captain

Hair: Waist length, wavy and platinum blonde, tied up in pigtails  
Eyes: Purple  
Skin: A slightly fake looking orangish tan and a beauty mark under her left eye  
Build: Curvy. A little taller than average height, a medium chest, wide hips and small waist. Her head is the regular TD female head

Everyday: A muddy green tank top with AHCS (Aardvark High Cheer Squad) written in white letters on the front, her muddy green and white (vertically) striped cheerleader skirt and a pair of white running shoes  
Accessories: A tattoo across her shoulder blades in thick black letters, that reads "Cheer 4 Life", a pair of gold, heart shaped earrings and a matching locket with a picture of her football captain boyfriend in it, for makeup she has salmon pink lipstick and tons of mascara  
Swimwear: A white one-piece with AHST (Aardvark High Swim Team) printed on the front in thick, muddy green letters  
Sleepwear: A white t-shirt with Aardvark High printed on the front in muddy green letters and a pair of muddy green track shorts  
Formal: A muddy green, knee length, prom dress, with a layered skirt, a pair of white high heels, her everyday makeup and accessories and her hair is let loose

Name: Emily Emerson (Special thanks to nothernstar)  
Nicknames: Em or Emmi  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: Innocent and Ignorant

Hair: Waist length, black and straight, usually tied in a ponytail  
Eyes: Grey, slightly squinted  
Skin: She's Asian, she has a slightly yellow tinted peach shade (I hope that didn't sound too racist)  
Build: Curvy. A couple inches shorter than average, a large chest, medium hips and small waist. Her head is the round type (Izzy/Blainley/Anne Maria)

Everyday: A white v-neck t-shirt, a pair of knee length jeans and a pair of white sneakers  
Accessories: A silver watch and a circular gold pendant  
Swimwear: A white, strapless one-piece, with white frills on the top and the leg holes  
Sleepwear: A white t-shirt with a teddy bear on it, a pair of purple jogging shorts and a pair of white bunny slippers, she sleeps with a hot pink teddy bear (Named Mr. Cuddlekins)  
Formal: A strapless, white, knee length cocktail dress, with white frills on the bottom and a silver bow around the waist, her hair in in a braid and she's wearing her everyday pendant

Name: Tracy McAdams  
Nicknames: Trace  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: The Rocker Chick

Hair: Shoulder-blade length, completely straight and pitch black, a little less than half of it is shaved off (similar to Skrillex)  
Eyes: Bright blue  
Skin: A couple shades paler than regular Caucasian  
Build: Skinny. She's a few inches taller than average and has a small chest and small hips, her head shape is like Dakota's: pointed chin but the top of her head is round

Everyday: A black, short sleeved, off the shoulder top, a pair of dark blue skinny jeans with holes in the knees and a pair of old, beat up black high-tops  
Accessories: About 5 silver studs in each ear, a pair of black spiked wristbands, a small tattoo of a stylized dragon on her left shoulder and for makeup she wears about 10 pounds of black eyeliner, she usually has a pair of black headphones around her neck, just in case  
Swimwear: A black, strapless bikini  
Sleepwear: A baggy black t-shirt, with a large white hand making middle-finger stenciled on the front and a pair of loose, dark grey fuzzy pajama pants, the hair she hasn't shaved off is tied in a side ponytail, she also cuddles with a little Sid Vicious Beanie Baby  
Formal: A knee length, black cocktail dress, with spaghetti-strap sleeves, a pair of fishnet tights, a pair of chunky black goth boots, her everyday accessories and for makeup she wears extra black eyeliner and the hair she has left is braided

Name: Lexica Winslow  
Nicknames: Lexie, Lexa, Xica, Lex  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: LOUD

Hair: Shoulder length, scruffy and a violent shade of neon pink, it sticks out in every direction  
Eyes: Teal  
Skin: Regular Caucasian, severely freckled  
Build: Fairly short, she reaches the shoulder of an average height girl. She has little to none hips and chest. Her head is similar to Dakota's (Round top, pointed chin) and she has a chipped front tooth

Everyday: A neon yellow overlarge t-shirt, with F*UCK Y'ALL (all caps, * included) written on it in neon purple letters, a pair of baggy, faded jeans with holes in the knees and a pair of neon orange and neon blue striped Converse  
Accessories: Wristbands, one for every neon color out there  
Swimwear: A strapless bikini, with a neon yellow top with neon purple dots and a neon orange bottom with neon blue zebra stripes  
Sleepwear: She just sleeps in her everyday clothes  
Formal: A black, knee length dress with t-shirt sleeves with large clusters of squares, triangles and circles in every neon color imaginable printed all over it and a pair of rather anticlimactic black flats

Name: Susan Evergreen  
Nicknames: Suse. She never goes by Susie or Sue, it just doesn't fit her  
Gender: Female  
Stereotype: The Space Case

Hair: Hip length, medium brown and wavy  
Eyes: Pale blue and they always look slightly dazed  
Skin: A few shades paler than regular Caucasian  
Build: She's very tall and gangly. Small chest, small hips, small waist and the regular TD female head

Everyday: A white t-shirt with a red heart one the front, a pale pink and magenta striped undershirt with baggy sleeves that cover most of her hands, a pair of baggy jeans and a pair of pale pink Converse  
Accessories: A pair of thick, black rectangular glasses  
Swimwear: A white one piece with a red heart on the front  
Sleepwear: Her everyday undershirt and a pair of pale pink, knee length cotton shorts. She has the creepy habit of sleeping with her eyes open  
Formal: Her everyday outfit, except she's wearing a plain white version of her undershirt, no t-shirt and a pair of white flats

Name: Brent Alberts (Special thanks to Flim Flam Brothers)  
Nicknames: None (Already a short name)  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: The Street Kid

Hair: Shaved off, all that's left is black stubble  
Eyes: Dark brown  
Skin: Caucasian with a slight farmers tan  
Build: Muscular. Average height, wide shoulders, muscular arms and a six-pack.

Everyday: A black baseball cap, a dark blue hoodie, a pair of beat up black sweat pants and a pair of grubby white track shoes  
Accessories: A small black stud in his left ear  
Swimwear: A pair of black swim trunks  
Sleepwear: His everyday clothes  
Formal: He doesn't attend a whole lot of formal events, so he usually just wears his everyday clothes with a borrowed/stolen tie

Name: Dominic Grey  
Nicknames: Dom or Nick  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: The Flirt

Hair: Black and chin length, curled and spiked in odd places with excessive amounts of gel  
Eyes: Brown  
Skin: A shade darker than regular Caucasian, with a small beauty mark on his right cheek  
Build: Lean. Relatively muscular, average hight and slightly thinner than the muscular build

Everyday: A dark grey Bikini Inspector t-shirt, a pair of dark blue capris and a pair of green sneakers  
Accessories: A small tattoo in between his shoulder blades that reads "PIMP"  
Swimwear: A dark grey speedo and a chain with a fake ID with the occupation of Bikini Inspector  
Sleepwear: He sleeps in his black boxers and a shower cap to keep in hair in place, he usually reads a porno magazine to help him sleep  
Formal: A black suit, a dress shirt with half of the buttons undone, a pair of black leather shoes, a pair of black sunglasses and a gold chain with SEXY BEAST in gold letters as the pendant

Name: Everett Chase  
Nicknames: Ev  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: The Sci-fi Nerd

Hair: Short, black and cut in a Spock bowl cut  
Eyes: Blue and rather small  
Skin: Slightly paler than regular Caucasian and pimply  
Build: Fat. Fairly tall and just as wide, wide waist, small legs and weak shoulders

Everyday: A black Star Wars t-shirt, a red Star Fleet uniform as an undershirt, a pair of pale brown cargo pants and a pair of dark brown sandals  
Accessories: A child-size Darth Vader helmet he uses as a hat, a plastic lightsaber he carries around with him everywhere (sound effects included), a pair of plastic Vulcan ears, a set of silver braces and his t-shirt is covered with tons of pins featuring his favorite Sci-fi movies  
Swimwear: A pair of black trunks, and since he's self conscious about his man-boobs he also wears a white tank top  
Sleepwear: A Star Trek t-shirt and a pair of track shorts, he has a Princess Leia beanie baby to cuddle with  
Formal: He has a slightly too small tuxedo, but refuses to take off any of his everyday accessories

Name: Jerome Springs (Special thanks to Flim Flam Brothers)  
Nicknames: Prefers to go by Jerry  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: The Closet Brony

Hair: Short and light brown, not really styled in any specific way  
Eyes: Teal  
Skin: Regular Caucasian with a small splatter of freckles on his nose  
Build: Scrawny. Pretty short and thin, small shoulders, largish head and skinny limbs

Everyday: A dark purple hoodie (underneath is a MLP FIM t-shirt), a pair of regular blue jeans and a pair of red sneakers  
Accessories: He has a small pendant with MLP 4EVER etched on it, but it's usually tucked under his t-shirt  
Swimwear: A pair of dark purple trunks  
Sleepwear: He wears his MLP t-shirt inside-out (so only the inside white shows) and his black boxers, when he's pretty sure no one else in his cabin is watching, he has a Fluttershy doll to cuddle with  
Formal: He wears a t-shirts with a fake tuxedo top printed on the front and his everyday jeans

Name: Billy  
Nicknames: None (It's already a pretty short name)  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: Raised by wolves

Hair: Dark brown, shoulder length, messy and tangled, with a few twigs and leaves stuck here and there  
Eyes: Bright green  
Skin: A fairly dark farmer's tan  
Build: Lean and muscular, much like the wolves he was raised with, average proportions and muscular arms, average height. He has thick eyebrows and a strong jaw line

Everyday: A dark brown pelt worn in the stereotypical caveman style, no shoes  
Accessories: A leather string with a pointy tooth on it as a necklace  
Swimwear: Chris supplied him with a pair of plain black trunks  
Sleepwear: His everyday pelt  
Formal: They managed to force him into a proper tuxedo and loafers

Name: Matthew Ferguson  
Nicknames: Matt  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: The Hulk

Hair: Short, curly and somewhere between yellow and orange in color  
Eyes: Blue  
Skin: Regular Caucasian, he has freckles all over his face, and when he takes his shirt off they're on her shoulders and chest too  
Build: Fairly average, medium everything and not super buff, but not scrawny either

Everyday: A red and orange striped t-shirt, over a white long-sleeved undershirt, a pair of regular blue jeans and a pair of leather sandals  
Accessories: None  
Swimwear: A pair of red trunks with orange and white Hawaiian print  
Sleepwear: A white tank-top and a pair of red and white striped boxers  
Formal: A dark red tux with a black tie, he still wears his everyday sandals

Name: Derek Jeremi  
Nicknames: He likes it when people call him "The Big D", but they don't  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: The Gangster Wannabe

Hair: Short and black, but hardly ever seen  
Eyes: Teal  
Skin: Pale, pasty Caucasian  
Build: Small and scrawny, skinny arms and legs, thin shoulders, overlarge hands and feet

Everyday: A white wife-beater, a pair of enormously baggy jeans, a dark blue, backwards baseball cap and a pair of red and white "Nykee" sports shoes  
Accessories: An incredibly fake looking gold chain with a "diamond" encrusted dollar sign hanging from it, a pair of overlarge black sunglasses, a pair of fake brass knuckles and a set of fake gold teeth bling  
Swimwear: A pair of bright red trunks with "Thug Life" written on the butt in black letters and all of his everyday accessories  
Sleepwear: A pale blue pajama set, covered in pictures of unicorns and teddy bears  
Formal: He insists that he's too "Gangsta" to dress formally

Name: Kyle Bobbert  
Nicknames: None, short name  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: The Nervous Wreck

Hair: Straight and blonde, matted to his head with sweat  
Eyes: Blue, his irises and pupils are smaller than usual, making them look very dilated  
Skin: A clammy, grayish peach tone. He has large bags under his eyes  
Build: Small and scrawny. Every one of his body parts is small and thin, quite a bit like a stick

Everyday: A large, baggy bright yellow t-shirt, a pair of overlarge jeans and a pair of bright yellow sneakers, underneath all this, he wears a layer of protective padding  
Accessories: Knee guards, elbow guards, shin guards and a huge helmet. He's never seen without his pepper spray  
Swimwear: He feels unprotected in swimsuits so he just swims in his everyday clothes  
Sleepwear: He doesn't sleep, he is forever alert, so he feels no need to change out of his clothes for sleeping  
Formal: Everyday clothes, he fears being choked by his tie

Name: Kevin Cole (Special thanks to my sister)  
Nicknames: Kev, Keverina  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: The Girly Guy

Hair: Blonde and it goes in waves to the tops of his ears  
Eyes: Brown, he occasionally wears a bit of mascara  
Skin: Regular Caucasian  
Build: A little skinnier than average build. Feminine limbs and dainty hands and feet, his general appearance is fairly girlish

Everyday: A hot-pink t-shirt with a magenta heart on the front, a pair of dark purple jeans and a pair of pale pink sandals  
Accessories: A bracelet with numerous pink flower charms and he occasionally wears a salmon pink bow in his hair  
Swimwear: A hot pink Speedo with a pale pink tank top  
Sleepwear: A fluffy pink pajama set decorated with red hearts and a pair of pale pink unicorn slippers (same deal as bunny slippers, but with unicorns)  
Formal: A pale pink suit with a red tie

Name: Andrew Harrison (Special thanks to CallMeTeletubby)  
Nicknames: Andy  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: The Strong and Silent

Hair: Black, short and curly  
Eyes: Dark brown  
Skin: African-american, very dark brown  
Build: Large and muscular, extremely tall and extremely buff, thick arms, wide shoulders, wide chest muscly legs

Everyday: A black t-shirt with a black and white picture of Jimi Hendrix stenciled on the front, a pair of knee length jeans and a pair of dark brown hiking boots  
Accessories: He has an iPod stashed in his back pocket, just in case  
Swimwear: A dark brown trunks  
Sleepwear: He just sleeps in his boxers  
Formal: A simple black suit and black tie, he kind of looks like he's going to a funeral

Name: Timothy Rook (Special thanks to Flim Flam Brothers)  
Nicknames: Prefers to go by Tim  
Gender: Male  
Stereotype: The Kind Powerhouse

Hair: Blonde and combed back  
Eyes: Green  
Skin: A little darker than regular Caucasian  
Build: Large and muscular. Fairly tall and pretty buff. Large arms, wide shoulders, smallish head, the whole package

Everyday: A white tank-top tucked into a pair of dark brown cargo shorts and a pair of leather work boots  
Accessories: A cross necklace  
Swimwear: A pair of white trunks  
Sleepwear: He sleeps in his everyday t-shirt and a pair of black boxers  
Formal: A white dress shirt, tucked into a pair of dark brown slacks, a black tie and a pair of loafers


	2. Not So Happy Campers

So after all this time I present to you: The fucking story.

Chris McLean, the host of this sick, teen-trap of a show, was patting his face lightly with a fluffy powder puff when the camera clicked on, he immediately stopped when an intern informed him they were rolling.  
He arranged his face into a large, blindingly white smile, "Hello reality show lovers, pedophiles and people who have nothing better to do with their lives!" He all but shouted at the camera, "My name is Chris McLean, and I am very proud to present: TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!" He waved his hands dramatically at the moldy dock he was standing on, and the rather unimpressive island it was attached to, "Taking place right here, right now at Camp Wawanakwa!"  
Chris began to walk, not seeming to notice the rotting wood crumbling behind him, "Now, allow us to meet our first contestants!" Chris gestured dramatically at the moldy boat that had just drifted it's way to the dock, "Shelia!"  
A pale skinned, blonde girl stepped daintily on to the dock. Her icy blue eyes narrowed as she surveyed the scene around her, "What is this?" She asked in a disdainful voice.  
Chris beamed, "This is where you'll be staying for the next eight weeks!"  
Her eyes widened, "Excuse me, but I signed up for a 5-star resort. Not this...THING!"  
"Well, it seems you have been mislead." Chris glanced calmly at his overly-manicured nails.  
"I'm calling my parents!"  
"Sadly, there's no cell phone reception."  
She gave him a glare that could cut through steel, but reluctantly stood at the end of the dock, "By the way, Chris. That outfit you're rocking should be considered a form of child abuse."  
He was about to retort when the boat docked once more.  
Chris, still huffing about Shelia's remark, looked at the next contestant, "Our next unlucky teen: Dominic!"  
Dominic was probably the sleaziest looking guy you could ever lay your eyes on: His hair was black and styled with at least ten tons of gel, his brown eyes roamed the island as if looking for the next piece of ass to grab. His "Bikini Inspector" T-shirt wasn't helping his case.  
"Yo, Chris!" He gave the host a high-five, but his eyes were on Shelia. Specifically the curve of her jeans.  
"Hey, Hot-stuff." He slung an arm around her shoulders and gave her a greasy smile, "Looks like we're the first couple on the island."  
"In your dreams," She looked at his arm as if it carried some sort of highly infectious disease.  
He didn't seem to hear her, "You know what I think? You would make a mighty fine french maid."  
"You know what I think? I think you should take something large and spiky and shove it up your ass."  
"Oh, you're into the kinky stuff? No worries, they don't call me Mr. Adapt-to-any-sexual-preferences back home for nothing!"  
This highly intelligent conversation would have continued, but the contestant boat docked once more, "Emily!"  
A small Asian girl hopped off the ship. She had long black hair, a simple white t-shirt and simple blue jeans. She looked at the dock and the island attached to it. Her expression went from excited, to confused, then back to excited, "Ok, this is totes not a 5-star resort, but it's still AWESOMESAUCE!" She attempted a dance twirl, but swiftly tripped over her own foot and fell to the ground.  
Chris raised an eyebrow, "Um, are you all right?"  
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine!" Her large chest bounced as she hopped up from the floor. Dominic spotted her (actually, he spotted her boobs) and Shelia was immediately forgotten.  
"Hey, Hot-stuff. Looks like we're the first couple on the island", He put his arm around Emily, this time taking special care of what part of her upper body his hand rested on, "You know what I think? I think you'd make a mighty fine french maid."  
Shelia looked at him incredulously.  
Emily cocked her head, obviously puzzled, "But I'm Chinese?"  
Chris cleared his throat to bring the camera back on himself, "Our next contestant: Andrew!"  
Andrew walked silently off the boat and stood next to Shelia without a comment. He was big, at least 6"4, and muscular. He had dark skin and an even darker expression. Dominic gave him a reproachful glare that quite clearly said, "Stay off my turf, bro."  
Chris laughed nervously, "You don't talk much, do you?"  
Andrew just stared.  
After several awkward minutes the boat arrived again.  
Chris turned to the lake, thankful for an excuse to stop looking at the guy, "Next up: Tracy!"  
Andrew's eyes widened at the black-clad, partially bald girl that had stepped off. He wasn't the only one, both Dominic and Emily ogled. The only one who remained impassive was Shelia, who simply looked at her haircut disapprovingly.  
She smiled widely at them all and readjusted the guitar case she had on her back, "Sup?" She gave Chris a quick fist bump and walked over to stand next to Andrew, taking care not to hit anyone with her case.  
She looked him up and down, despite being taller than both Emily and Shelia she was still only able to reach his shoulder. She looked at his t-shirt, "Oh, hey! You're a Jimi Hendrix fan too? Awesome!" She raised her hand for a high-five, which he didn't return.  
"Now: Brent!"  
He wasn't as tall as Andrew, but he was just as tough looking, with his shaved head and grubby clothes. He glared at them all: Dominic, who was still commencing in his non-subtle Emily groping, Shelia, who gingerly filing a broken nail, and Tracy, whose arm was still raised awkwardly in the air, "This is my competition?" He said with a sneer, "I'd think you'd be able to do a little better, McLean." He stalked off to stand with the others without waiting for a reply.  
"No one asked you to be an asshole." Shelia muttered, not looking up from her nail.  
"No one asked you to be a bitch." He retorted calmly.  
She didn't say anything, but the fury in her eyes made the message clear: It was ON.  
Chris coughed irritably, "Hey, camera man! Is this my show, or their show?"  
"Well, technically speaking, it's their show-" The timid voice from off screen was quickly cut off.  
"Whatever! Anyway, next contestant: Melanie!"  
A small girl with limp brown hair and thick glasses shuffled on the dock, "Hello." Her voice was barely a whisper.  
"HI THERE!" Tracy's voice seemed much louder than usual in contrast to Melanie.  
She gave a small squeaking sound and tried to hide behind Chris, giving Tracy's spiky wrist bands an especially scared look.  
Tracy's wide grin faltered slightly.  
"Why don't you go stand next to the other contestants?" Melanie didn't seem to be a huge fan of Chris's suggestion, "I'm sure they don't bite."  
"I might." Dominic wriggled his eyebrows suggestively at Shelia.  
After several minutes of trying to convince her none of them were axe murderers, Chris gave up and turned (Melanie still hiding behind him) back to the boat, "Everett!"  
It was surprising that the boat wasn't sinking, Everett was huge: Just as wide as he was tall. It was hard to tell what stood out more, his size or the his giant plastic light saber, "Hey guys!" He had a slight lisp, which was explained by the shiny braces in his mouth, "Live long and prosper!" He lifted his hand in the Vulcan Salute. They all stared blankly, "Erm...May the force be with you?" He tried.  
Brent gave a small cough that sounded suspiciously like, "Nerd!"  
"I'll just go stand over there now." Everett walked meekly towards Emily, the moldy dock creaking dangerously under his weight.  
"Anyway..." Chris tried his best to cover up the awkward moment, "Lydia!"  
There was a large "THUNK" and a worrisome cracking as a pair of heavy black boots collided with the already weak wood. These boots were attached to Lydia, who looked as if she despised them all and would rather be anywhere at the moment than there.  
She stormed past Chris and positioned herself between Everett and Emily, they both gave her smiles, but she didn't look at either of them. Instead she contented herself with staring at the back of Chris's head with such loathing you'd think his wig personally offended her mother. Dominic inched away from her, not even bothering to hit on her, Melanie let out a frightened whimper and moved further behind Chris, but Brent looked impressed.  
"Ok..." Chris didn't seem to know what to make of that scene, "Next up: Kevin!"  
Kevin didn't really walk off the boat, he actually pranced, "Hey, Chris! OMG, that shirt is fab!" He beamed, straightening his own hot pink top.  
"Thank you. I REALLY TRY." He gave Shelia a pointed glare on his last couple words.  
Brent gave an obnoxious snicker, "Why don't you two fags get a room already?"  
Lydia laughed along, making him give her a surprised look.  
"Why don't you two get a room, since you're so chummy now." Chris snapped, the chuckles were immediately silenced.  
Kevin skipped away and planted himself next to Emily. It was hard to tell which was grinning wider at the other, despite his flamboyant appearance, Dominic still felt the need to give him the "Back off from my girl." look.  
Chris redirected the camera's attention to the oncoming boat, "Danielle!"  
Danielle looked exactly like a Barbie doll: Her tan was ridiculously orange and her hair was intensely blonde, the only thing that ruined the look was she replaced everything pink on Barbie with a sickly shade of muddy green, "Like, HI!" She gave her bubble gum a loud smack, "My name is, like, Danielle!"  
"Um, yeah. I think he mentioned that." Lydia and Brent said in unison, both rolling their eyes.  
"OMG, that's so, like, ADORBS!" Danielle gushed, "Are you, like, one of those couples that says everything, like, at the same time?"  
"WE ARE NOT A COUPLE." Unison once more.  
"Jeez, don't get, like, a pole up your, like, butt." She shrugged.  
"Oh, don't mind them, Sweetie." Dominic left Emily's side to slide next to the latest apple of his eye, "They just don't understand the principles of lovin' like you and me."  
Danielle pushed him away, "I, like, have a boyfriend! You, like, PERV!" She shoved her locket in front of his face, in said locket was a picture of what looked like a football captain, clad in the same white and muddy green as her cheer uniform, Dominic sulked back to Emily.  
Emily gave Danielle's uniform a confused look, "What does AHCS stand for?"  
"Oh, that, like, stands for, like, Aardvark High Cheer Squad!"  
"Aardvark High..." Shelia trailed off skeptically.  
"Yeah IKR! The owner, like, really, like, liked aardvarks or something!"  
"That's really interesting." Chris said sarcastically, "MOVING ON. Derek!"  
Muffled rap music played in the background as a scrawny white kid with way too baggy pants and an incredibly fake looking set of bling hopped off the boat, "Yo yo mah homies!" He said in a rather bad African-American accent, some obscure gang sign made in his hand. Andrew cringed, Shelia face-palmed and Brent actually looked mildly offended, "You bettah be prepared foh da Big D swagpocalypse!" Most of them stifled laughs, other than Emily, who fell to the floor emitting very audible giggles.  
"The Big D?" Shelia quoted after she regained her composure, "Seriously?"  
"You betcha!" He made a rather offensive gesture at his crotch, "I'm the biggest D around!"  
"I wouldn't count of that." Dominic muttered, giving his own region a glance.  
Derek swaggered over to Andrew and held out his hand, "What's shakin' mah nig-" He immediately stopped when he saw he look on Andrew's face, "I'll just shut up now."  
"Next we have: Jessie!"  
"Hi, y'all!" She had a thick western accent to go with her cowboy hat and boots, which didn't quite match the rest of her clothes. She looked like a mix between a cowgirl and a mechanic.  
Chris looked at the boat with concern, "Why isn't the engine smoking any more?"  
"It was over heated, so me and my trusty tool belt decided to solve the problem." She patted the belt affectionately.  
"I'm not sure if I told you, but I find girls who know their tools really hot." Dominic left Emily once again to flirt with the newest contestant.  
"Well, I would be even hotter if that there engine went and blew me all up, wouldn't I?" She brushed some dust off of her jeans.  
"She has a point." Tracy chirped.  
Jessie looked around, "Well, this certainly ain't no city-folk motel type thing, but I think I'll fit in just fine." Her cowboy boots clacked as she walked over to stand with the other contestants.  
Chris still looked confused, "You mean, the engine isn't supposed to smoke?"  
"Well, 'course it ain't supposed to smoke! If it be smokin' it be explodin'! That's what my papa says"  
"If she calls her dad "papa" you know it's going to be bad." Shelia gave Jessie a disgusted look that Jessie gladly returned.  
"I suppose you'd be one of them city girls my papa told me about." She said "city girl" as if it were some kind of horrible swear word.  
"I suppose you'd be one of those farm girls my dad told me about." Shelia replied icily.  
Chris's voice cut through their death glares, "Next we have: Kyle!"  
Shelia and Jessie were so shocked at his appearance that they stopped trying to telekinetically kill each other: He was the scrawniest sack of bones any of the contestants had ever seen, his blonde hair was matted to his head with sweat, he was shaking like a leaf and in his hand he tightly clutched a bottle of pepper spray.  
He looked nervously around at them all. His eye was twitching.  
Chris cleared his throat awkwardly, "So...um, Kyle. If you would just stand with the other contestants..."  
Kyle looked as if that was the last thing he wanted to do. He edged forward, but stopped a good 6 feet from the group.  
"Okay then..." Chris muttered, recomposing himself, "Lexica!"  
All the contestants stared, dumbfounded at the girl who had just stepped off. At first (after you get past your burning eyes) she looked like a neon blob, but then she slowly morphed into a small girl with a giant smile and very fluorescent clothes.  
"HEY THERE!" She half screamed at them all, "MY NAME IS LEXICA! YOU CAN CALL ME LEX!"  
Several people plugged their ears, but most were too stunned to move. Shelia looked prepared to throw up at this girls offenses to fashion, and Kyle seemed to be having a mild seizure.  
Lexica didn't seem to notice. She bounded happily towards the group, and they gave her a wide berth, mostly to protect their eyes and ears from further damage.  
Chris shuddered, but continued, "Jerry!" His shout sounded feeble compared to Lexica's.  
There wasn't much to say about Jerry, compared to the last few contestants he was hardly noticeable, the only person who seemed even slightly interested was Melanie, who poked her head out from behind Chris, looking intrigued, "Er, um, Hi...I'm, um, Jerry. But I guess he already said that." Jerry laughed nervously, "Well, um, I like ponies- I MEAN PEOPLE." He corrected himself hastily, tugging on his purple hoodie as if trying to hide something, "Yeah, um, people." He caught Melanie's eye and she blushed and quickly ducked behind Chris again.  
"Right. We get it, you're really awkward. CAN WE CARRY ON PLEASE?" Chris pushed Jerry towards the slowly expanding crowd and the end of the dock and turned back to the boat, "Roxanne!"  
Just as they did when Lexica arrived, jaws dropped, but this time only male. Most of the females just rolled their eyes at the piece of eye-candy that stepped off the boat. It has hard to tell which was fuller: Her chest, her hips, her lips or her lashes. She smiled dazzlingly at them all, and even Chris was having a hard time sticking to the part of his contract that read "No touching/ogling at the teens".  
"Hi." Even that one syllable dripped with seduction. The men saw her as a complete score, the women saw her as a person to be careful around.  
Dominic withdrew the arm he had around Jessie and practically sprinted towards Roxanne, "Hey, hot-stuff." He grinned at her.  
"Same to you." She smiled and batted her eyelashes at him, pushing her large chest out. At this point Shelia, Jessie, Danielle and most of the other girls were retching.  
Roxanne shot them an eerily venomous glare over her shoulder, one that none of the males seemed to notice. But they were to focused on her chest anyway. She turned back to Dominic, "I hope we'll get to know each other a little better. Maybe share a cabin..." She gave him one last smile and sauntered over to the group, her hips swaying a little more than normal. She gave each contestant a warm smile, somehow, the females missed out.  
Chris forced his eyes away from Roxanne and back to the moldy boat, "Tim!"  
Tim grinned cheerily at them, his friendly face not at all matching the rest of his hulking body. Brent looked away from Roxanne's hips to give Tim a once over, seeming to recognize, for the fist time, a worthy opponent.  
"Hey. It's great to be here." His face suddenly turned confused, "Where's the resort?"  
"There isn't one." Chris stated bluntly.  
"But the pamphlet said-"  
"Well, pamphlets lie sometimes!" Chris snapped, "Any more stupid questions?"  
Tim raised his arms slightly, as if surrendering, "Ok, ok, Chillax, dude." He surveyed the other contestants, his eyes stopping momentarily on the most unusual of them. His expression of confusion deepened, "Erm, hi?"  
"Hello." Roxanne smiled, batting her eyelashes at him.  
"Sup." Tracy gave him a smile, which he happily returned.  
The rest just gave grunts of recognition.  
Chris moved on as if TIm wasn't actually there, "Susan!"  
Susan wandered onto the deck, looking sightly lost, turning her misty eyes onto the other contestants, "Hello." Her voice of light and dreamy, "You all look unusually obtuse today."  
There was a moment of awkward silence. Susan drifted towards the group and sat, cross-legged, between Everett and Derek, both of which edged away from her.  
"'Kay then." Chris said, looking slightly unnerved, "Billy!"  
Billy was sitting on the roof of the boat howling and clawing up the paint. When he trained his wolf-like eyes on them, the only person who didn't look completely freaked out was Emily, who looked like Christmas had came early.  
He landed on the dock on all fours and sniffed Chris's feet, making Melanie back away from him for the first time with a small shriek, "I ARE BILLY." Billy barked.  
"Yes. Yes you are." Chris said in a voice of forced calm, though in his hand was an emergency tazer, "Just- Just go stand with the others, ok?"  
Billy nodded and crawled away, stopping next to Emily, who petted his head like he was a puppy, a slightly maniacal grin on her face.  
Chris cleared his throat and continued, shoving the tazer back into his pocket, "Keira!"  
Keira looked...surprisingly normal. Chris gave a relieved sigh and let his guard down. Big mistake.  
Keira glared haughtily at her opposition. By now most of them had drifted off and started socializing: Tracy was once again trying to engage Andrew in conversation, but was failing, Emily was jabbering and giggling away with Kevin, Dominic was using his best material on Roxanne ("You remind me of a button. I want to tap that."), Melanie was staring at Jerry, but would blush and turn away whenever he noticed, Lydia and Brent were talking quite animatedly for such tough looking people, and Lexica, who had maintained a steady flow of shout-talking since she got off the boat was chatting happily with thin air.  
This divided attention didn't seem to sit well with Keira, who turned the same shade of red as her hair and shouted, "OI! YOU LITTLE BITCHES!" That got everyone's attention, "I CAME HERE TO WIN! NOT FOR YOU PRICKS TO IGNORE ME!"  
There was a tense silence, only Lexica was still talking. FInally, Danielle piped up, "We all, like, came here to, like, win, didn't we?" She gave her gum a loud pop.  
Keira began to rant, as if she'd been waiting her whole life to give the speech, "Do any of YOU have a bitch-ass big sister, who's absolutely PERFECT and WONDERFUL and outshines you in everything? NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, YOU BITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKERS! Do you know how it FEELS to be overshadowed by a person you KNOW you can be better than?"  
"Can't say I do." Shelia replied waspishly, this time nobody blamed her for her less than enthusiastic response to the newest contestant, "And I'd rather not be called a "bitch-ass motherfucker"."  
Keira glared at her. It was the type of maniacal glare that made some of them wonder if she was not completely sane, "You'll regret your attitude AFTER I WIN!"  
Chris spoke before Shelia could retaliate, "I'm sure she will, Keira. But for now could you go stand with others?"  
Keira gave a curt nod and took a place next to Jessie, who distinctly muttered, "City girls..."  
"Our last contestant: Matthew!" Chris gave a final flourish, glad this was finally over.  
Matthew was another normal looking guy, but, wary from Keira, Chris flinched slightly as Matthew held out his hand, "Hey, Chris." He smiled.  
Chris looked at the hand reproachfully, "Say, um, Matthew, are there any...oddities you'd like to get out into the open before the show begins?"  
Matthew looked scared for a moment, but quickly rearranged his features into a not-so-convincing smile, "Um, no." He laughed nervously, "Why do you ask?"  
"Just precautionary measures." Chris nodded, satisfied, and briefly shook Matthew's hand, "Ok...God it's finally over." He sighed happily.  
The camera man spoke up off screen, "No, it isn't. You still have to sort them into teams and teach them how the confessionals work and-"  
"OK, I GET IT!" Chris snapped, "You can shut up now!" He re-plastered the large grin to his face, "Ok, contestants. It's time to get sorted into teams of 11." He pulled out a list from under his shirt, "Team 1: Shelia, Jessie, Danielle, Brent, Melanie, Derek, Roxanne, Jerry, Everett, Billy and Matthew! You are the Killer Bass!" He threw them a banner with a vicious looking fish printed on the front.  
Shelia's eye's widened in disgust as the people she had already branded as her enemies walked towards her. Brent and Jessie didn't look happy about the arrangements either. Melanie and Jerry shared a shy smile before he turned to talk to Everett, Roxanne and Dominic shared a loving goodbye make-out session and Matthew and Danielle stood awkwardly next to Billy, who was scratching his ear with his foot.  
Derek threw a hand out for Brent to shake, "Wassup, Homie? It's good tah see a fellah gangsta on the team."  
Brent glared down at him, but before he could punch Derek in the face, Roxanne had latched onto him, "Hey, cutie." She purred, "It looks like we'll be on the same team from her on out." Brent grinned. Lydia did not.  
"Team 2:" Chris continued, "Lydia, Emily, Susan, Dominic, Kevin, Andrew, Tracy, Lexica, Keira, Kyle and Tim. You are team Screaming Gophers!" He threw them a banner with a, believe it or not, screaming gopher on it.  
Emily's beaming face and perky greetings were met by rolling eyes from Lydia, Andrew and Keira, Lexica was talking non-stop as usual, but this time Susan was listening to her, looking genuinely interested, Kyle was shivering in the corner, clutching his pepper spray tighter than ever, Dominic looked around at all the girls, none of them were up to Roxanne's standards, but he would have to make do with what he had and Kevin was painting his nails bright pink.  
"With me on your team, we will be lead to VICTORY!" Keira screamed, pumping her fist in the air. She waited a few seconds for cheers and applause that didn't come.  
"OK." Chris clapped his hands, "That's that. It's time to tell you about the confessionals."  
"I can already tell this is going to be bad." Shelia groaned.  
Chris ignored her, "You see that porta-potty over there?" He pointed at the small wooden rectangle in the distance, "Well, since the viewers can't read your minds, you can go there to expose your innermost thought and feelings. Give it a try!"  
-Confessional Start-  
Dominic is sitting with one foot on either side of the camera, giving the viewer a beautiful view up his crotch. He looks quite pleased with himself.  
"Ok. So, YEAH. This isn't any 5-star resort, but have you seen the eye (and dick) candy walking around these parts? Shelia: A little bitchy, pretty lacking in the boob department, but THAT ASS. Oh, and Emily! Can you say busty? And Roxanne, oh man, Roxanne. She could get in my pants any day of the week. Too bad she's on the other team though. No cabin sharing for me." He gives a wistful sigh.  
-Confessional End-

-Confessional Start-  
Shelia is standing in the center of the stall, with her arms wrapped tightly around her chest, trying not to touch anything, "Ok. I knew from the moment I got onto this pile of shit that this wasn't going to be pleasant. I was only proved further correct by the riff-raff that they call "contestants" Yeah, that I can deal with. Barely, But I can deal with it. BUT I DRAW THE FUCKING LINE AT LETTING OUT MY FEELINGS IN A PORTA-POTTY." She gives the toilet a surprisingly strong kick, spraying mucky green water onto her shoes. She shrieks, "AND NOW I HAVE SHIT ON MY DESIGNER SHOES! DIE IN A FUCKING HOLE, MCLEAN!"  
-Confessional End-

-Confessional Start-  
Jerry is sitting gingerly on the toilet seat, trying to have as little of him touching it as possible, he takes a deep breath, "Ok, I'm just going to put this out there NOW." He unzips his hoodie, revealing a t-shirt with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash printed on the front, "I'm sorry you had to find out this way, mom. But I think the viewers should find out sooner rather than later." He zips up his jacket and slumps into the toilet seat.  
-Confessional End-

-Confessional Start-  
Lydia is sitting with her legs crossed on the toilet seat. Seemingly not effected by the disgustingness, "Well, Duncan. I made it." She smiles smugly, "Oh, and if little Jeff isn't already watching this, tell him his big sis says hi." She readjusts her position, "General opinion of the place? Shit-hole. The people? The only one who doesn't seem totally brain-dead is Brent, but don't get jealous, Duncan. He's not even on my team." She pauses to think for a moment, before adding, "Chris is a fucking bastard."  
-Confessional End-

-Confessional Start-  
Keira is looking around the stall, as if doing a health inspection, "Not my first choice of a confessional booth, but it will have to do." She straightens her hair and turns to face the camera, "Honestly, the competition is not as fierce as I expected it to be. I've got this one in the bag. And I'll finally be better than Kayla!" She thrusts her hand in front of the camera to show that "Never stop until Kayla falls" is printed on the wrist, "I will keep my promise if it kills me."  
-Confessional End-  
After the commercial break, the camera snapped onto the scene of all the contestants in a lunch line in front of the burly black man, known as Chef Hatchet, who was pacing back and forth through the line like a drill sergeant, "I am Chef Hatchet. For the next 8 weeks you will come here and eat what I serve you for breakfast, lunch and dinner. There will be no whining or complaining. Unless you want to face the consequences." He waved his large kitchen knife around threateningly, "NOW LINE UP FOR SOME CHOW!"  
All the contestants, even the tough ones like Brent, Lydia and Andrew shuffled meekly into the line for Chef's slop.  
The food resembled something that would come out of the toilet of the confessional stall. It was also moving. For once Emily's wide grin seemed slightly forced, and even Keira seemed to regret coming as her food literally started growling at her.  
But they all managed to force it down, Chef sharpening his knife behind them.  
Jerry began a conversation with Everett, "Hey, dude." He whispered when he was pretty sure Chef couldn't hear him, "What do you think the first challenge is gonna be?"  
Everett (thanks to his braces) sprayed Jerry with spit as he hastened to answer his new friend's question, "I dunno, but it can't be that hard, right? I mean, it's just the first challenge."

He discovered just how wrong he was as he looked down from a 50 foot cliff the next day.

**So, yay. I finally finished this! Feel free to review! And if you have any questions ask away! I hope you enjoy! (And P.S. the Duncan Lydia mentioned in her confessional is the canon one). I'd love to hear your opinions on the characters! Which should be eliminated, which you think should end up together, which you want to have more/less screentime, whatever.**

**LUV U BYE**


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